Humbert Humbert needs to go.

Attention: Spoiler alert! If you plan on reading Lolita before your memory has the chance to lose this information, stop reading now!

For all the rest of you, I have changed my opinions drastically since my last blog post regarding Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov's work of poetic genius. When we left off, I was sympathetic towards the shy, kindly pedophile, Humbert Humbert. I'm not saying that I completely hate him now, but there was a good long period in the book where I wanted to jump within the pages and punch him repeatedly in the mouth. There was a point in the book where a lot of things became clear to me, and they all came in rapid succession. "Jesus Christ. Lolita is twelve. She's twelve. Humbert took her away from her home. He lied about her mother's death for weeks and weeks. He made her pleasure him and gave her money for it. He used sexual favors like they were her daily chores. And he expects her to be grateful to him. That rotten, sick, twisted butt nugget." Humbert mentions at one point that ever since she left her home with him, she has cried herself to sleep every night, the minute that he pretends to be asleep. And suddenly I wasn't siding with Humbert anymore. He was, in a way, unspeakably cruel and thoughtless towards her. He put her through more stress and trauma and grown-up situations than any pre-pubescent girl should have to go through. He is in many ways as childish as Lolita is. He's shockingly selfish. He married Charlotte to get close to Lolita and never once thought of either of their feelings on the subject, or how he could hurt poor Charlotte. He touched Lolita, in her own home, while her mother was out. And she let him because it was exciting to her, to be touched by a handsome, older man. It made her feel good about herself. Humbert realized that, but he did it anyways. He took advantage of her. He is also jealous and possessive, in a way that is almost fearful. He controls nearly every aspect of Lolita's life. He hardly lets her participate in any socializing or activities after school for fear that she'll meet boys while she's out. He deprived her of everything that a girl should have when she's growing up. If you really think about it, he's only looked out for himself, ever. Sure, he claims that he's hopelessly in love with Lolita, that he would do anything for her, but he's never done anything for her. He buys stuff for her, but that's not enough and it never will be because he made her touch him while other people were around, and he drugged her the first time he tried to make love to her so that she would be asleep, and he lied to her and controlled her and trapped her in his love. It's gotten to a point where it's not devastatingly romantic anymore. It's just devastating.