Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Coolest Ginger I Know, revised

  Ray-Chow
  Rachel
  Rachie
  Ray
  She's the one who helps me
  To keep those feelings thin and shallow
  Whenever those people (what are they called? Mom and Dad?)
  Are gone,
  again,
  and again,
  and again.
  I should be angry, but I'm not.
  I can't be  Because there's sugared dough on my nose
  And sugared music in my ears.
  I should be lonely, but I'm not
  Never, never with her  Because she's dancing like some drunken fairy,
  A mixing spoon her wand that wipes away the emptiness.
  I'm laughing because I love this so much more
  Than being with them; vacant, cold beings with me
  Who light up the minute they can go away
  And forget that they have children.
  I love her more.
  Okay, maybe not,
  But I respect her more.
  My best friend.
  My mentor.
  My substitute mother.
  My sister.  Freckled, laughing, keeping the bad thoughts at bay.
  They're on some island somewhere, tanning aging skin
  And tipping back happy juice
  Looking for the light they lost.
  We're at home,
  In a kitchen in Minnesota,
  Soaking up all the light in the world.

1 comment:

  1. I love your last line- the way it ties in with the last few lines is really a nice ending.
    Is there anywhere that you would like to add a stanza break? It seems like all your ideas get lost in the one long poem (or my mind needs a break sometimes).
    This line: "Whenever those people (what are they called? Mom and Dad?)" really shows your voice (I can hear a person saying this), but it leaves little to the imagination- I feel it cuts to the chase too early. Maybe more build up?

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